It seems suppressing the feelings fails... especially when I have dreams about him. In it I had called him and he didn't reply, and I was concerned because it had been 11 days since I had last heard from him. Ah fuck, I wont go into detail, but I confronted him before these 11 days, and said I was sad because it feels like you're going to die again. I don't know how he was alive again in the first place... but he then started crying.
Ah shit, this is bullshit. It has been over 10 months and it still hurts. I hate waking up from dreams like that. It's fucking 4am, and I need to be at work in two hours. I only wish more people understand how I feel.
Damn that dream was so real. To see him again. So nice, yet so miserable.
Alright I am done typing.
