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It's almost been three months now. Since Adam passed. I remember the first month being the longest and hardest month I have ever endured. I never thought I would make it out alive. But if I was able to make it through that month, and the month after that... I can easily make it past the third month. And the fourth, and then a year. It sucks, when someone you love dies, because death is all I think about. Last night I started freaking out because my mom was running late. I kept running all these scenarios in my head, and how I would have to make all these calls to cancel credit cards, accounts, and tell the children's parents that their baby sitter has passed.

I noticed I don't cry as much anymore. I noticed that more time then before has passed when he wasn't on my mind. They say that the first two months are going to be the roughest. I'm glad they're over with.

One thing that's difficult is that I haven't been single in six years. And being single for 3 months now is making me go crazy! Adam was right when he said that I was the type who can't be alone. I want him back so bad.

There were so many things that I wanted to blog about... but due to my shitty memory, I can't remember them.

I'll just close with a wonderful memory I have of Adam.

We finally have the keys to our new apartment in Lewisville. It was our first apartment together, just us. I wanted to paint the whole bedroom... I think this was a bad idea to start with. But it was hilarious because Adam kept getting paint all over him, so out of frustration he took off all his clothes and started painting naked. I could not stop laughing, not only because he was painting in the nude, but he still had his socks on! I remember attacking him with brown paint. Sigh. I wish I was an english major, because this whole scenario is so much better in my head then what I have posted. It was just fucking hilarious and I miss him so damn much. End of story.